Some reasons for leaving include:

  • Seeing new places and things,
  • Finding new opportunities,
  • Learning to be adaptable,
  • Starting over with a clean slate and,
  • Appreciating what’s at home more.

Stayers overwhelmingly say they stay because of family ties and because their home towns are good places to raise children. They also cite the feeling of belonging and their love for the place they call home.

In general, there a couple of predictable times in our lives when there is a choice between staying or leaving. Young people may leave home:

  • To move closer to a place of work or study,
  • When they form a relationship and decide to live with that person,
  • When they decide to move to shared accommodations with a group of friends,
  • When they decide that it is the right time to leave, and
  • When there is conflict at home.

Some young people leave home long before they are mature enough and others stay longer than they or their parents would like often because of financial considerations. Whatever the reason for leaving it is best to put your energies into understanding each other before the departure so that a good relationship in the future is more likely. It also is important for parents not to put their children in the position of having to choose between them and their partners.

Moving out can be an exciting time for young people especially if their parents are understanding and supportive.

The question of moving back home can occur in a couple of ways. Sometimes it comes up when the mover has lost his/her job and can no longer afford to live on their own. Sometimes the mover’s relationship with their significant other dissolves and he/she needs to move back home alone or with dependent children. In both of these instances good communication is essential since the relationships are now adult-to-adult and no longer parent-to-child.

A more frequent situation occurs when one has moved away and your parent or parents need help with the demands of daily living. Or your children who have moved away have children and you wish to be closer to them.

Many retirement experts caution about moving right after retirement. The adjustment of leaving work generates enough stress and adding a move can put more pressure on you. The most common reason for moving after retirement is family related. There is no one right step fits all here. Careful planning and discussion are essential. While the urge to move is often quite strong, the reasons to do so must be solid and well planned.

The McConaheys are relationship coaches who live and work in Pelham, North Carolina. They can be reached at or (336) 388-9964.

The McConaheys are relationship coaches who live and work in Pelham, North Carolina. They can be reached at or (336) 388-9964.

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