Being Mr. Mom

Justin Faulconer
Media General News Service
Published: June 23, 2008

Sitting by his pool on a hot summer day in the secluded mountains of Bedford County, Mike Poff has four full-time jobs.
“Watch me, daddy!”
Poff’s son, Nathaniel, dives in.
Then Matthew.
Then Franchesca.
Then Jonathan.
Quadruplet 6-year-olds — three boys, one girl — screaming voices, relentless youth and a proud father, who has made peace with the chaos.
That’s life in the Poff family.
The father’s journey includes a wife of 17 years, Pam, two older daughters, Meagan and Rachel, faithful in giving support, and Alexandra, a 1-year-old daughter soaking up the festive atmosphere.
Mike always wanted three kids. Pam had her sights set on four.
“God’s curve ball” — what he calls the surprise announcement of quadruplets — totaled seven.
It’s a pitch he doesn’t regret.
“I am having the greatest time of my life,” said Poff, 47. “I’ve got more family than I’ve ever had. Do I feel blessed? Lord a mercy.”
The responsibility didn’t wear his sense of humor. Years ago, he took the pseudonym “Quadfather” after seeing a movie promo for “The Godfather” movie.
“The name kind of stuck.”
A former reporter and on-air personality in television and radio, he started writing memoirs of his experiences in fatherhood three years ago. It eventually became a successful outlet as he now often writes for Twins Magazine, a bi-monthly publication.
His next article is “The Quadfather’s Big Three Summer Safety Concerns.”
His online exposure as a writer nearly landed the family on network television, he said.
Representatives from the ABC show “Wife Swap” had seen his writing, and inquired if he and Pam would like to participate. The couple agreed, but Poff said the correspondence with the show has dwindled because it couldn’t find a suitable couple to pair them with.
“I don’t think we have enough dysfunction going on,” he said.

An offer he
couldn’t refuse
Mike Poff never asked to be a stay-at-home dad.
Shortly before the shocking announcement of quadruplets, he was planning to become a youth pastor at a Lynchburg church.
He and Pam talked, and came up with a plan. He would forego the pastor position and stay at home to watch the kids. She would continue her job as president of Professional Rehabilitative Options Inc., a case management firm.
“I feel called to my company,” said Pam. “You just can’t quit and walk away.”
As a stay-at-home dad, Mike never runs out of things to do.
During the school year, he typically wakes up at 5:30 a.m. to start the coffee and breakfast. He has always been the family cook.
He wakes the kids at 6, and the family has breakfast. He has six lunches ready for the kids and drives them to the bus stop in the family minivan.
The quadruplets make up nearly half of their kindergarten class of nine at Big Island Elementary School.
His attention then turns to 1-year-old Alexandra. He also does household chores and takes care of the family pets (seven horses, six cats, five dogs and a guinea pig). “There’s never a lack of things to do.”
Pam usually works from home, and they’ll either go to the YMCA or shopping. Then in the afternoon, he gets dinner ready when most of the kids return.
Pam said she tries to make as much time as she can for the kids in balancing her life.
“What makes it work, of course, is Mike.”
The couple credits much of their success to 15-year-old Meagan and 12-year-old Rachel.
“We never would have made it without them,” said Mike.
Pam said the older two have never shown jealousy or a sense of burden.
Meagan said she wouldn’t know what to do without a big family.
“I’m going to have experience by the time I’m a mother, so I’m really glad,” she said.
Rachel said it’s fun being a big sister to so many. “I don’t get lonely.”
Mike is a great cook and housekeeper, they said.
“I respect him a lot,” said Meagan. “I’m glad to have him around.”
Gaining a new sense of family
During a family trip to New York City when the quadruplets were 2 years old, the urge to go shopping hit the ladies.
Mike found himself stranded in Chinatown with double baby strollers. Crowds of interested Chinese people then gathered around to look on, he said.
There was a time when he wasn’t so surrounded.
A native of Salem, his parents are now deceased. His mother raised him and his brother, and had been through three divorces by the time he was 20. She also worked late nights.
With little family supervision, Mike said he did what he wanted by the time he was a teenager, and it led to poor life choices.
The turnaround came when he became a born-again Christian, he said. He said he might even be dead, if not for the spiritual change.
He was 30 when he met Pam, several years younger, at a high school reunion. Family was something he had to strive for.
“I wasn’t going to be anyone’s parent or husband until I was a reasonably grounded individual,” he said.
For Pam, family came naturally. The eldest of three siblings in a New York family who moved to Virginia, she said her younger years were spent babysitting.
“I’ve always been open to having a big family,” she said. “Even now, I would be open to foster children. I have a heart for kids.”
Mike said his philosophy in parenting is to realize what worked in his own upbringing and what didn’t.
“The things that worked well, you can work with those,” he said. “But the things that were screwed up, you don’t want to pass them on.”
He has kept his family engaged in church activities and now takes them each week to Thomas Road Baptist Church. He calls it a perfect fit because each age group looks forward to it.
“There’s not been a time when the kids, from the oldest down to the littlest, haven’t got back in the van pumped up,” he said.
Reaping a real man’s rewards
The quadruplets have begun playing tee-ball. Meagan is starting band for the summer and is close to getting a learner’s permit. Rachel is still developing her deep love for horses. Alexandra is reveling in the sibling surplus.
“One of the biggest rewards is watching these kids grow and be successful,” he said.
Still writing magazine articles as the Quadfather, he has an agent and is hoping a publisher will go for his idea of writing a book about fatherhood.
He intends to keep trying and wants to inspire others facing challenges in parenting.
“There are a lot of people out there struggling like my mom did trying to raise me,” he said. “They need hope.”
More kids?
A good possibility, he said — minus any curve balls.
“I prefer not to have another set of quadruplets,” he said with a serious smile.

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